Being a good housewife and other distractions

Well, it seems that I'm not pregnant this month. I am 6.2kgs (13lbs) lighter however. I thought my period had arrived a few days ago, but apparently it was just random spotting. I took a test, but it was negative (I don't think it could have looked more negative) . I'm having some pretty wonderful pains though, so it's only a matter of days.

In the meantime though, I have found wonderful distraction in this

The Organised Housewife's 20 day challenge

Just finished day five on Friday, and I'm having that lovely 'in control' feeling, which is nice. A lot of it is things I do already, but it's given me some instruction and some direction, which is likely what I'm craving, given all the stupid my body is giving me.

I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor in the next couple of weeks and see what she thinks the next step is. I've been having a few more down days lately, especially after seeing a few pregnancy announcements and then getting a negative test myself. I am happy for others, just a bit sad for me. Made worse by the fact that it's hard to express how I'm feeling without feeling like a whining idiot.

Ah well, life continues. Maybe I should take up candle making or something...hmmm....

Support, lack of sleep and 4kgs down.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about my support networks. Without going into too much detail, my Mother has a lot on her plate at the moment, so I'm feeling a little out in the cold from that aspect. But then again, my Mother isn't exactly the squishy, loving type anyway. I am lucky to have an amazing husband (who is very supportive, even when I'm talking about cervical mucous and LH surges), some friends and one family member in particular that are great to talk to about my issues, no matter if it's about this, or anything else that's going on in my life. I also made friends with a wonderful bunch of women via the Huggies website while I was pregnant and we've since moved our conversations to a group on Facebook. 
I tend to withdraw when things get me down. I don't like to burden anyone with things that are bothering me. This has actually cost me a few friendships in the past, because frankly I'm not really sure HOW to talk about things that are upsetting me, and I really hate getting upset in front of people. I find it hard to talk to my best friend about things. I really need to start working on that side of me.

I also really need to start sleeping at a decent hour. Last night I was feeling really sick after too many coffees, so had planned to go to bed really early and wake up feeling nice and refreshed. But in true Lauren style, I was still sitting on the computer at 11pm (buying tickets for Kate and I to go see Magic Mike on a Mum's night out, among other things). The problem is that when we get Ellie into bed I tend to get a bit excited about "me time", although "me time usually includes laundry, house tidying and animal wrangling. One day I'd just like to sit in my house, alone, with it all clean and nothing to do. Haha, fat chance of that in the next 20 years!

My weight loss is also still falling, which is wonderful, especially considering my exercise has been less than admirable in the the passed week. I'm currently 4kgs down and very excited about that. Only a million more to go! What? I'm not prone to exaggeration at all!

"No periods? PCOS is the best condition ever!" and other myths

So I've had some fun comments about my PCOS during my six months since diagnosis. I'm sure anyone who has it has probably had the same, or similar comments made to them.

"You get your period every 80 days? That must be awesome! I wish I had PCOS!"
Okay, let me be the first to say FUCK YOU. I understand that perhaps you were dropped on your head as a child, but you're being an insensitive idiot with that comment.
Yes, my period is erratic, and sometimes I don't get it for almost three months. But then sometimes I get it for a whole month, tell me where the fun is in that. Especially try doing that when the month long bleeding is happening, I dare you.
I can also say that when you are trying to get pregnant, and irregular cycle sucks. Big time. 

"Just lose some weight and your symptoms will go away and getting pregnant will be easy!"
Thanks for that, Einstein. While what you have just told me is actually true, "just losing weight" isn't always that easy when your hormones are psychopathic. 
I eat very well. Lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, good healthy meals, very little takeout.
I exercise. I walk 90 minutes five times a week. I go to at least one aqua aerobics class a week. I do weights when time allows, which is usually two times a week. And I spend my days taking care of a house and an active one year old. My bloods are extremely healthy, my body just doesn't particularly mirror that.
In saying all that, since cutting processed carbs (bread, pasta, rice) out of my diet, I have actually noticed a change in myself for the first time in a year, which is exciting. There are ways, ladies, just finding it can be difficult. Especially when everyone else makes it look easy by comparison.

"Are you pregnant yet? You've been trying long enough!"
This one is usually asked weekly by well meaning friends.
While I understand the comment is a well meaning one, it doesn't make things very easy. To put things in perspective, during my last three month long cycle, I did seven pregnancy tests. Seven. And each one was a knife in the heart.
When I am pregnant. I'll tell you. I love you all for being concerned, I really do.

"I've never heard of this PCOS thing. Are you making things up?"
No. Don't be a dick. Do you really have hours set aside to sit down and listen to me explain a condition that is really just a bunch of symptoms and not a lot of explanation behind them? No? Yeah, I figured that. It's confusing enough to have, let alone to explain.

"You already have a baby. You should be grateful!"
Me wanting to get pregnant again is not me being ungrateful for my daughter. Ellie is absolutely the light of my husband and I's life and I am thankful for her every single day. The fact is that we would like more children. Now if that can't happen for us then we will face that when we come to it, but for now we are trying to extend our family. Honestly, if we could afford to have five babies and be able to give them everything they need then I'd absolutely do it. For now we'll just settle for one more though ;)


I'm sure this post will be added to from time to time.