My sense of humor

You may have noticed, especially if you know me in person, that I tend to laugh a lot, and make a joke of most things. I very rarely take things seriously, and often have trouble taking things seriously that I really should. My nickname was Lawlz a long time before I had a WoW character of the same name.

My PCOS is no exception. I make jokes about it. Rei and I talk about Ellie being an only child and growing up thinking she's a rabbit. I talk openly about my failboat ovaries like they're a living, evil entity that are plotting my demise. In my head they actually look a bit like Darth Sidious.

That's not to say I don't cry, or get upset about things. Ohhh Lord, do I cry. My poor, long suffering husband gets to see this very pretty side of me. I am the ugliest crier on the planet. And probably most other planets. Some people look okay when they cry, but I don't. At all.
In a way I think that my sense of humor has become a bit of a coping mechanism in all walks of my life. I was a very serious kid, I didn't know how to take a joke, or handle fun being poked at me. I took things rather personally, and generally felt I was a bit of a loser. In my early 20's I took a deep breath and decided that it was time to stop being such an uptight douchebag, and I let go. I let myself laugh at myself, I taught myself to be more forgiving of myself, and I started to smile more. I stopped taking life so seriously. And it was beautiful. It was like being free of something that held me back for a long time.

These days I find it much easier to laugh than to cry. It's easier to look for some humor in any situation than it is to look at the bad stuff. 

Sometimes it's actually a bad thing, because at times I find that it actually prevents me from feeling things to their full extent. And eventually, when all the emotion catches up with me, I become a puddle of sad on the floor.

To take what is happening with my body at the moment as a bit of a bad joke actually helps me to get by and keeps the smile on my face. Not to mention all the wonderful people in my life that help me to laugh every single day. I've been very blessed in that respect.

What is PCOS

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It's one of those fun multifaceted conditions with a whole bunch of symptoms, no explanation as to what REALLY causes them, and no real treatment. It's one of the most common hormonal disorders in women, and around 5-10% of women of reproductive age have symptoms.
Some of those fun symptoms include:

• Infertility (not able to get pregnant) because of not ovulating. In fact, PCOS is the most common cause of female infertility.

• Infrequent, absent, and/or irregular menstrual periods
• Hirsutism (HER-suh-tiz-um) — increased hair growth on the face, chest, stomach, back, thumbs, or toes
• Cysts on the ovaries
• Acne, oily skin, or dandruff
• Weight gain or obesity, usually with extra weight around the waist
• Male-pattern baldness or thinning hair
• Patches of skin on the neck, arms, breasts, or thighs that are thick and dark brown or black
• Skin tags — excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area
• Pelvic pain
• Anxiety or depression
• Sleep apnea — when breathing stops for short periods of time while asleep

Yep. Great stuff.

So what does PCOS mean for me personally? 

To be honest, I have had symptoms for a very long time, generally overweight, a little hairy, dry scalp, anxious. Probably going back to when I first hit puberty. My period was generally regular as far as I can remember, but I was on the pill from 17 onward. 
As many of you know I already have a wonderful daughter, Ellie, who has recently turned 1. While pregnant with her they discovered a large cyst on my right ovary, which was of no concern at the time, but they wanted me to come back and be checked after she was born. I did that in February, which is when they discovered that I had tiny cysts all over both my ovaries, around 30 in total. I was then sent back to my doctor to have blood tests and all other wonderful proddy, pokey examinations. My bloods came back fantastic in general, but yes, my androgen's were up. And I still had most of the other symptoms, the extra weight that is impossible to shift, especially considering I eat healthily and exercise regularly. Oh, and the fact that I was going around 80 days between periods. 

What am I doing to help me in my quest to give our daughter a sibling?

In my case, it seems pregnancy has made my PCOS worse and now I'm experiencing what is known as secondary infertility. We started actively trying for a baby in February when we got the results that pointed to PCOS, knowing that it could take us awhile. In May my doctor prescribed me with Metformin. Which is actually a drug that is used to treat people with diabetes and it's use is somewhat experimental in treating PCOS, but a lot of people have fantastic results with it. It helps to lower insulin levels in the blood, which can benefit all the aspects of the condition. I'm also currently taking Evening Primrose, a pre-natal and pregnancy multi-vitamin, CoQ10 and Milk Thistle, and very recently have cut carbs such as bread, pasta, rice (which is hard when you have a Chinese husband) and potatoes out of my diet. I'm actually feeling a lot better since starting the low carb diet, so I think I'm on the right track.


Some links, should you wish to learn more:
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome Association of Australia
Soul Cysters